I am finding Terry and I have different thoughts about recovery, and those differences primarily revolve around issues of pain. I realize my opinion is someone slanted, as I have a high threshold for pain due to migraines and rheumatoid arthritis. I try to be mindful of that, but I have had laproscopic surgery, so I do have some idea of what that entails.
It's almost two weeks after surgery now, and Terry is still talking about pain. I've tried to have him determine whether it's pain or just discomfort, because the reality is where he has seven incisions on his body he's going to feel it. But is he feeling real pain, as though something is not as it should be, or discomfort due to what he's been through? That's the muddy ground we find ourselves on; I thinking he should be feeling better than he says he does, and he thinking I'm not understanding how he feels.
I just don't have the same affinity for pain killers that he does. He thinks nothing about taking a pill for pain, as long as it's prescription, but doesn't think about the after effects of doing so. My concern is the pain pills may mask real symptoms if there is a problem, or that he's taking these because he has them. I'll just get to the heart of the matter....too often I'm concerned that pain killers are used simply because he has them. If he truly needs them that's one thing, but I'm not sure that two weeks post surgery warrants still needing them.
Yesterday he told me that he had so much pain while trying to sleep Saturday night that he got up and took one around 2:30 a.m., and another around 4:00 a.m. That seems indicative of either a problem which should be addressed and is causing pain, or a problem that he's looking for a reason to take them. I don't doubt they will help him sleep, but if he can't sleep that may be another matter altogether. And I'm beginning to wonder if not sleeping is really at the heart of this issue.
I believe we both assumed once his body stopped over producing adrenaline and other hormones, he wouldn't feel "jazzed up" all the time, and sleeping would be easier. That hasn't been the case. He didn't get much sleep in the hospital, for obvious reasons. Being in ICU for five days meant he heard all the beeping, discussions, alarms, alerts, and activity going on around him. He wasn't getting sleep there unless he was medicated. But since he's come home he has indicated that he's not sleeping as well as I think he does. If he isn't getting recuperative sleep, I think he will naturally gravitate to a product that may help him sleep.
He goes back to the oncologist on Thursday, so we'll see what he thinks about how Terry's doing. Molly's been taking blood pressure and temperature daily so we can track if he starts to get an increase in temperature that might mean he's got an infection. So far it doesn't appear he does. He may just need someone other than me telling him how he's doing and how he should feel. Fortunately for him (although he might think himself unfortunate as a result) I do not ignore what's going on with him. He may not like what I say sometimes, but I'm truly looking out for his best interests. I don't think his best interests involve taking prescription pain killers long term, so I'm going to make sure they deal with whatever is going on to cause him such pain. And if it turns out it's not pain necessitating the pain relievers, then we'll deal with whatever it is that he's using the pills to alleviate. As with everything with him, we just need to know.
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